I’ve spent the last couple of days at a loss for words, not knowing what to write on here.  Then I realized that in some ways that’s appropriate.  Because I know that if none of this had happened and I saw Sanjay today I wouldn’t have to say a word.  That’s what is wonderful about old friends.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed that it’s a little bit harder to make friends that I feel as close to as those that have known me a long time.  I think part of the reason is it’s exhausting to think about filling someone in on the last 20 or so years of life to get them caught up.  So you kind of just start from now and move forward.  And there is nothing wrong with that, it’s just different.  It’s different than spending time with someone who already knows your life story.  Not only do they know your life story, they ARE your life story.

 

Sanjay was there when I turned 16, he was there when I turned 18, he was there when I turned 21…he was there on my wedding day…and not just as a friend.  We were honored to have him officate our wedding.  I will forever cherish the memory that he was standing there with me on the happiest day of my life.  He was just always there…even when I didn’t see him…I always knew he was there and I guess I felt he always would be.  At some point on Tuesday I just stopped in my tracks because I suddenly realized he was gone and I truly felt a void in my life.

 

There are too many memories to write here…and some no one would even understand.  Silly stuff that was a joke just between us…things that other people had long forgetten but that we always remembered.  I will always be grateful that I had someone like Sanjay in my life and that I could call him my friend.  I keep hearing the saying in my head, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”  I’m really trying to hang onto that and be grateful for the time we had together. I hope this teaches us all a lesson to not take each other for granted.  I truly believe I will see Sanjay again one day and until then I will always remember him and smile…

 

~ Jen